We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize