I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This girl is more easily done than said...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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