I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
