We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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