Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize