I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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