You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize