I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Randomize
