Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
