I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have feelings that need drinking.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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