i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
