Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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