Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
