That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
