How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
