Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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