This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
