You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
ugly people sure do ruin things
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
