i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have already put on my inside pants.
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