I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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