just come out here and I will go home with you...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
