cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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