I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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