you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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