One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
