we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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