he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
