Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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