she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i need some magic done to my vagina
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
