Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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