And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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