Do you still have your period?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
