Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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