I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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