And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
