Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
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Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ladies don't puke and tell
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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