Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
