If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
