You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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