Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
