Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
