I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
