i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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