You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
