You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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