she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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