Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
