I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
