textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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