my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
