ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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