So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
