I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
