The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
