If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.