So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
