just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
