Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
