That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
