Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
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I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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